Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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