Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
