nut hugger
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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