if i can run in heels then i can drive
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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