This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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