I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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