I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize