Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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