Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
