Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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