it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
