I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
