You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think i got beer on your cat.
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