just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
