Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
