It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
tell me about the eggs
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
