wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
