so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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