and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize