wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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