no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
