That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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