nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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