A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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