apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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