so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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