Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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