do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
