You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just google imaged poop.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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