You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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