I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
