Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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