why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
