We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
