Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize