Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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