Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
