i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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