fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
