dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
