i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
tell me about the eggs
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
