Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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