I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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