DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize