even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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