There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
