Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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