he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
