Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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