WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
