Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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