dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize