That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
