Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Who died my cat blue again?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
