One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
