This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
