There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
