Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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