I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
