Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
