I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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